What's in a question?

Did you know that there are a LOT of mental processes that go into answering a question?

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When they're asked "how was your day?", kids need to:

1. Understand the question you're asking
2. Search their memory for information related to the question
3. Connect the memory to the question so they can form a response
4. Evaluate the information they retrieved, so they can make sure their answer is appropriate and accurate
5. Put their answer into words that accurately convey the information
6. Get the words from their brain to their mouth and speak them out clearly

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Phew, that's a LOT of work to do in a matter of seconds!

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Top tips for asking great questions‍

Our favourite ways to reduce the pressure and increase communication are:

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(1) Ask specific questions

When we ask broad, general questions, this puts even more pressure on a child's brain, as they need to sift through more information and memories to find the answer they need.

Asking more specific and direct questions is a great way to reduce the mental load and help our kids to communicate more effectively about their day.

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(2) Give them time

We may want to prompt our kids to answer if they don't respond straight away, or fire off a bunch of questions in an attempt to get them talking. Both of these strategies can put more stress on their mental processes and make it more difficult for them to give us an answer.

Instead, allow a few seconds for them to answer your question. It might feel awkward (hello, awkward silences!!) but it will really help your child to find answers without the pressure.

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(3) Make it fun!

Some kids find it really hard to put their thoughts and ideas into words, especially if they're tired.

Instead of focusing on talking, use fun and creative activities to get the communication going!

Try drawing pictures, building with playdoh, or playing with toys and dolls. Your child might dra a picture about something that happened today, or their dolls might act out a game that they played at lunch time.

Communication is so much more than spoken words and direct questions!

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What can I ask instead?

Asking yes/no questions don't give you much information, and really broad questions can be difficult to answer.

So what can we ask instead?

Questions that start with who, what, where, and when, and specific questions about particular events/people/activities, reduce the mental load and are much easier for kids to answer.

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Try these questions next time you're in the car after school:

• What made you smile today?
• Did anyone do anything silly to make you laugh?
• What was the most popular game at recess?
• Did you help anyone today?
• What did you do that was creative?
• What was your favourite thing that happened today?
• Was there an example of kindness or unkindness that you saw today?
• Did you say, ‘thank you’ to anyone?
• Who did you sit with at lunch?
• Was anyone absent today?
• Did you hear anything that surprised you today?
• Did anyone get in trouble?
• How were you brave today?
• What was the hardest rule to follow today?
• If you could change one thing about your day today what would it be?
• What made you feel proud today?
• If you could switch seats with anyone in class who would it be? Why?
• Did you learn any new words today?
• What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
• What did you learn today that you didn’t know yesterday?

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Have you tried any of these questions? Let us know!